[She tries not to scoff, but she does. So severely is she outclassed by anyone here that being considered 'strong' and 'capable' is almost a shock.]
Try telling that to everyone else here. [No one's ever told her otherwise, but she doesn't need to be told: being stuck in the arena made it clear that she could possibly never be able to survive without anyone stronger than herself.
She didn't want to rely on anyone, but how else could she live?] At best, I'm unpredictable, at worst, I'm a liability. Not entirely helped by all of this.
[She hated being like this, and hated that no one wanted to do anything about it. If she could dismantle this entire system herself...]
[ Venom listens with the seasoned patience of someone who's fielded grievances for years, and only opens his mouth when he finds the proper words for what he wants to say. Methodical, but without the neutrality of his previous statements. ]
Unpredictability can't be taught. You're right to list that as your best trait.
[ He doesn't touch on the liability portion, because he won't patronize by offering platitudes; she doesn't need them. ]
Besides, I didn't take you for the type to care about third party opinions.
[ Maybe it's just a matter of her being underutilized. That's a real possibility. ]
[If only he knew that her entire persona was built on the very fact that people thought she was worthless, would amount to nothing, was from neither here nor there.]
I can survive people. I'm not built to burn things on command or to shoot a man without thinking twice. And we shouldn't have to do these things so repeatedly. We came to this contract for whatever reasons, but it wasn't for persistent war or near-death experiences.
[Underneath the all-too-cool demeanor is anger. Anger that she can't work on her own terms, and normally, this wouldn't bother her. Adaptability became her, after all.
But when did it end and when would she simply cease to be out of the sheer fact that she simply can't keep up with the others? She would've been dead if it weren't for Arno's stubbornness to get her off the ship, or Ahab's medical assistance.
Something had to give.]
If I didn't know better I would imagine our esteemed captains were trying to kill us.
[ It occurs to Venom as an afterthought that what Isha's just described aren't routine occurrences to some people (most people). The terms of their contract are a familiar grind for Venom, so there's a momentary disconnect where his placidity conveys all there is to know about 'Venom Snake': that he hasn't even thought to be too indignant on his own behalf.
But this is about her, and he understands that people aren't meant to be peddled for loyalty and services. This isn't what any of them officially signed on for, and he can understand that her life, her purpose, isn't meant for this.
He watches her, and finishes cleaning up the last of the more offensive wounds to settle one palm on his bent knee. ]
What they're not doing is protecting us.
[ That's the reality of it, and he offers it simply. ] To them, we're collateral damage. They won't remember our names when we're gone.
[She gives him a look, scathing in every form, where the bark, for once, could be backed up with a bite.]
No, I happen to be the suicidal sort. Of course I want to fucking live. What do you think, I'm going to let these bastards take me on the sheer basis of their incompetence?
[Clearly she's pissed, and a side of her starts to come through that she constantly keeps down and in check: the street rat, the teenager, the young woman that could spit and string together curses and blow smoke at someone's face and quite possibly bite in the middle of a fight.]
If these idiots knew anything and gave a real shit about their mission they'd use all of us to their advantage and put us to the best use. Instead they use us like canon fodder, willing little soldiers in a war we never enlisted in. If they knew anything, they'd be putting me and my sort into better operations than all of this.
[She'd been careful to keep her words to herself, to lay low and not to make herself an open target. What did it matter anymore? They were stranded on a planet, with no clear means of getting off this rock just yet, and no real leadership. They should expect bitter hearts and bitter words.
And if they don't? They're even more incompetent than they're letting on.]
[ He knows where that bile is coming from, and he digests it. Analyzes. Understands. ]
You're not wrong.
[ If she expected him to talk her down from her anger... well, he doesn't. The truth of the matter is that she didn't sign her life away for whatever bullshit this is (even Venom acknowledges it), and her resentment isn't unfounded. ]
Which is why you're going to have to find other ways to keep going. I've already offered.
[She doesn't want to, though. She's got blood on her hands, and no matter how many times they tell her it's not her fault, it's all on her.
At least forty were found dead to her name. What of those never found? What of those disappeared without a trace? How many more bodies would surface at the hands of the man who pretended to be her?]
I don't want to kill, Ahab. I can kill. I know how to kill. I know where it hurts, where it bleeds. But murder is one thing I hadn't intended on crossing.
[It wasn't even a moral high ground. She truly believes she isn't prepared for that weight. She left a person bleeding and if they died, it was their own damn fault for not moving fast enough. But outright kill?]
You, Nathan, Arno. You should have left me back there. I'm of no use to anyone here outside of dead weight.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Try telling that to everyone else here. [No one's ever told her otherwise, but she doesn't need to be told: being stuck in the arena made it clear that she could possibly never be able to survive without anyone stronger than herself.
She didn't want to rely on anyone, but how else could she live?] At best, I'm unpredictable, at worst, I'm a liability. Not entirely helped by all of this.
[She hated being like this, and hated that no one wanted to do anything about it. If she could dismantle this entire system herself...]
no subject
Unpredictability can't be taught. You're right to list that as your best trait.
[ He doesn't touch on the liability portion, because he won't patronize by offering platitudes; she doesn't need them. ]
Besides, I didn't take you for the type to care about third party opinions.
[ Maybe it's just a matter of her being underutilized. That's a real possibility. ]
no subject
I can survive people. I'm not built to burn things on command or to shoot a man without thinking twice. And we shouldn't have to do these things so repeatedly. We came to this contract for whatever reasons, but it wasn't for persistent war or near-death experiences.
[Underneath the all-too-cool demeanor is anger. Anger that she can't work on her own terms, and normally, this wouldn't bother her. Adaptability became her, after all.
But when did it end and when would she simply cease to be out of the sheer fact that she simply can't keep up with the others? She would've been dead if it weren't for Arno's stubbornness to get her off the ship, or Ahab's medical assistance.
Something had to give.]
If I didn't know better I would imagine our esteemed captains were trying to kill us.
no subject
But this is about her, and he understands that people aren't meant to be peddled for loyalty and services. This isn't what any of them officially signed on for, and he can understand that her life, her purpose, isn't meant for this.
He watches her, and finishes cleaning up the last of the more offensive wounds to settle one palm on his bent knee. ]
What they're not doing is protecting us.
[ That's the reality of it, and he offers it simply. ] To them, we're collateral damage. They won't remember our names when we're gone.
Do you want to live?
no subject
No, I happen to be the suicidal sort. Of course I want to fucking live. What do you think, I'm going to let these bastards take me on the sheer basis of their incompetence?
[Clearly she's pissed, and a side of her starts to come through that she constantly keeps down and in check: the street rat, the teenager, the young woman that could spit and string together curses and blow smoke at someone's face and quite possibly bite in the middle of a fight.]
If these idiots knew anything and gave a real shit about their mission they'd use all of us to their advantage and put us to the best use. Instead they use us like canon fodder, willing little soldiers in a war we never enlisted in. If they knew anything, they'd be putting me and my sort into better operations than all of this.
[She'd been careful to keep her words to herself, to lay low and not to make herself an open target. What did it matter anymore? They were stranded on a planet, with no clear means of getting off this rock just yet, and no real leadership. They should expect bitter hearts and bitter words.
And if they don't? They're even more incompetent than they're letting on.]
no subject
You're not wrong.
[ If she expected him to talk her down from her anger... well, he doesn't. The truth of the matter is that she didn't sign her life away for whatever bullshit this is (even Venom acknowledges it), and her resentment isn't unfounded. ]
Which is why you're going to have to find other ways to keep going. I've already offered.
no subject
At least forty were found dead to her name. What of those never found? What of those disappeared without a trace? How many more bodies would surface at the hands of the man who pretended to be her?]
I don't want to kill, Ahab. I can kill. I know how to kill. I know where it hurts, where it bleeds. But murder is one thing I hadn't intended on crossing.
[It wasn't even a moral high ground. She truly believes she isn't prepared for that weight. She left a person bleeding and if they died, it was their own damn fault for not moving fast enough. But outright kill?]
You, Nathan, Arno. You should have left me back there. I'm of no use to anyone here outside of dead weight.